The image at the beginning, though simple, really sets the scene along with the written description. I enjoy how it throws the player right into the action. I wish there was a line earlier alluding to the knife being faulty or something, but overall, great start!
I think this is a solid start, particularly because it uses the core tools of Twine well. I think there is definitely more that can be added, so you will have to prioritize. These are some exciting things to try moving forward:
Mechanics: It would be good to truly have the option to explore outside the house, even if the results are not ideal. Who knows? Maybe there is something useful out there. It is worth exploring the idea of a timer in those crucial moment
Story: It will take a bit more development to avoid cliches and stereotypes common in zombie stories (specially now with The Last of Us and what not). What is your unique take on the genre, or the characters that live in these storywolds? Even a bit of backstory, or some novel and surprising take on zombies could help. Maybe start the story with some background text, to develop this further?
Art: Well, right now there is not much to look at, but this could be sick. I find the imagery of the husband with the note in the entrance terrifying and mesmerizing. Maybe time to illustrate that? What about the zombified wife? This is all very evocative, so give us some cool illustration too!
I think this would benefit from having multiple options to choose in more of the passages. Since a lot of the passages only have one option, it feels like you're clicking just to advance the story, which is a bit less engaging than when you are faced with decisions that alter the course of gameplay. I noticed that some passages just have page numbers as the clickable links. I think it could be interesting if you changed these and utilized them as part of the story (like the "what do you do?" one)
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The image at the beginning, though simple, really sets the scene along with the written description. I enjoy how it throws the player right into the action. I wish there was a line earlier alluding to the knife being faulty or something, but overall, great start!
I enjoyed playing your game, There are a few errors with the choice's having page numbers. Maybe consider adding some art and more places to explore.
I think this is a solid start, particularly because it uses the core tools of Twine well. I think there is definitely more that can be added, so you will have to prioritize. These are some exciting things to try moving forward:
I think this would benefit from having multiple options to choose in more of the passages. Since a lot of the passages only have one option, it feels like you're clicking just to advance the story, which is a bit less engaging than when you are faced with decisions that alter the course of gameplay. I noticed that some passages just have page numbers as the clickable links. I think it could be interesting if you changed these and utilized them as part of the story (like the "what do you do?" one)
I think the first page is missing. I also think maybe you should add at least one more option in some of the sections as well.